motorcycles, travel, friendship, respect… I may drift off into WTF-land at times so hang in there.

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The article below appeared in the Townsville Bulletin in Mid October 2013, I came across it on a forum about a week ago.

End this motorbike madness - Jason Miller

Townsville Bulletin in mid October, 2013

I recall seeing something similar to this some time ago in the Brisbane Courier Mail and went on the hunt to try and find the article. Alas, I couldn’t find that article, it was an opinion piece in the motoring section from memory, and I can’t help thinking that the article above, and the Courier Mail article are a rehash of this article that appeared in the Sun Sentinel on June 13, 2011.

There has been much debate about the article above in various forums and discussion groups, much of it ridiculing the author(s).

I disagree, I don’t believe the author has gone far enough.

Certainly banning motorcycles is going to save lives, but in the interests of public safety for all motorists, extra precautions must be passed into law so that we can better protect ourselves in the highly likely event of a traffic incident. These changes must apply to all passenger vehicles, including, but not limited to  cars, buses, trucks, tractors and other farm equipment, trains, trams and the like.

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Firstly, all vehicle occupants must wear a protective helmet to an approved standard. This, along with, the mandatory inclusion of 50mm (2 inch) roll bars and 5 point safety harnesses fitted to all vehicles will have the added benefit that the roof will need to be raised somewhat to accommodate the extra head room required.

As the current crop of helmets do not offer enough protection, the density to the padding must be doubled, no, tripled. Further, all motor vehicle occupants must wear padded suits, similar to the Michelin Man.

Due to the bulk of all this additional protective clothing, controlling the motor vehicle may become a problem, for this reason the engine must be removed and replaced with little wind up mechanisms similar to those found in music boxes. The environmental benefits of this last modification cannot be denied.

We must also take steps to inhibit any form of entertainment, including, but not limited to; on board DVD, CD and MP3 players, AM/FM radios and the like, GPS and guidance systems, mobile phones and other communications systems (including two jam tins and a piece of string).

Additionally, a sound proof compartment must be erected between the driver and any other occupant of the vehicle, so that the driver does not become distracted while in control of the motor vehicle.

Speed sensing devices must be employed in all vehicles so that at no time does the vehicle exceed walking pace, this will have an added benefit in that speed signs will become a thing of the past, thus saving millions of dollars in state spending.

Fitting alcohol interlocks so that if any occupant of the vehicle blows more than 0.001 the vehicle becomes inoperative for a period of 48 hours. Likewise a drug detection system must also be employed in tandem to the alcohol detection system.

Upon movement of any motor vehicle, a red flag must be automatically deployed to the front and rear of the vehicle so as to warn any wayward pedestrians of the approaching danger (This law was recently repealed in Queensland and I believe it needs to be reinstated). The flags must be mounted on foam rubber poles, so that in the event that the warning system does come into contact with a member of the public, minimal injury will occur.

In the event of rain or similar inclement weather, vehicles must automatically come to a halt so as to not skid on the wet and slippery road surface, even at walking pace losing control of the vehicle can become a major problem.

I submit that these new laws should be retrospective and that failing to comply will result in fines of not less than 10 penalty units per infringement per person (including passengers) per vehicle, These new laws must be passed into law at 3am on the next sitting of parliament without debate or argument as a matter of urgency.



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